If We Were Vampires
by SimpleCinema
Summary: Five years after the events of Three Houses, another reunion is held at Garreg Mach in the newly prosperous and stable Fodlan. While the first of the festivities are had, Annette finds herself unable to have any fun due to complications from her past. (Fluff/Drama/Anxiety/Eventual Smut)
1. Chapter 1

_"If we were vampires and death was a joke,_

_We'd go out on the sidewalk and smoke,_

_Laugh at all the lovers and their plans,_

_I wouldn't feel the need to hold your hand,_

_Maybe time running out is a gift,_

_I'll work hard till the end of my shift,_

_Give you every second I can find,_

_Hoping it's not me that's left behind,"_

**'If We Were Vampires' - Jason Isbell **

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

Five years had passed since the conflict ended.

Half a decade had gone by so quickly, almost a full ten years since the original students had started their education at the academy in Garreg Mach. Ten years that, no matter the brevity of the previous five, felt like a lifetime ago. There had been war, bloodshed, death, and conflict for so long, it felt like that was all they'd ever know. Because of the actions of a select few, an entire generation had their youth stolen from them. No matter what the benefits of peace were, that was something they could never get back, and perhaps it was why all of them wanted to reunite again. To see one another in circumstances more fortunate than that of a war-torn empire wreaking havoc. To recapture that lost youth a bit.

It had taken a great while to find everyone. They were spread out all across Fodlan, all with largely different careers and ambitions that kept them on the move or simply difficult to precisely locate. Thankfully, their old professor, was positively ruthless, and had kept up with a few of her students and other residents of the academy. She posed an offer, to meet up on the tenth anniversary of their initial promise, to reunite and celebrate a better world and get to enjoy the company of one another again. Naturally, the beloved professor didn't receive a single 'no' from any of her students, which raised her spirits immensely.

The gathering was fairly enormous. Everyone had showed up, not just the Blue Lions, but the other classes as well. It had been as if the clock were turned back a decade, the life of the monastery and its facilities was given a newfound vigor. It hosted a new generation of students now, taught by a few who once attended, but they were away on patrol in the southern empire territory, so only members of the old guard were left. It was a sight to behold, as it resembled the party that had taken place the year the professor arrived initially, just aged forward a bit. Drinks were merrily consumed, dances had been attempted to the best of their ability, and friendly conversation and catching up was everywhere.

Annette, however, seemed to be out of the loop.

She had a drink to see if it would ease her nerves at all, which it didn't, but it was at least worth a shot. She was intensely jealous of everyone there, clearly having a good time, where all she could do was worry. It was so bright and youthful and all she wanted was an ounce of that collective joy.

But not without her.

She had been looking for her former professor all evening, trying to get a spare moment free from her with no such luck. She was a popular woman, and there wasn't a moment to steal from her. She finally got her opportunity after she had danced with Sylvain, rushing over to the table to grab a glass of wine while there was still some left. She timidly yet briskly found her way over to her, slipping between and behind anyone and everyone in her way. She wished she could've spoken to her more cordially or in some nicer context, but that wasn't a luxury her worried mind could afford.

She tapped her shoulder as her former Professor had polished off half her glass in one steady gulp. Clearly she was enjoying herself.

"Annette!" she exclaimed, turning around and hugging her before she had the chance to do anything else, "I haven't seen you all evening. How are you?"

It was odd, seeing her like this. While she only had good memories of the woman, it was rare when she was so openly affectionate or expressive. Annette attributed that to the alcohol, the atmosphere, or the festivities. Or, perhaps, five years was enough to render someone familiar into the guise of a stranger.

"I'm good, I'm good," Annette said unconvincingly faking a smile.

Even Byleth, who was currently riding out a high of happiness she hadn't felt in a while, caught Annette's blatant attempt to hide her distress.

"What's wrong? Are you alright? If Sylvain hit on you again after all this time so help me I'll spike his drink with something shady from the greenhouse and when he wakes up tomorrow he'll be bald,"

Her former teacher said that with such alarming specificity that she almost didn't notice her knock back the other half of her glass of punch like it was a shot of harder liquor.

"Erm, no, actually, I was just wondering if you heard anything about Mercie? I haven't seen her around and I remember you mentioning that she said she was attending,"

She was too preoccupied by her own thoughts to not sound like she was anxious. Thankfully her professor didn't really pick up on the underlying, more personal nature of her inquiry.

"I haven't heard anything beyond her initial message, I'm sure she'll be here soon, don't worry," she said playfully nudging her shoulder, "Have a drink, it'll make the waiting easier,"

While there was a modicum of truth to her words, the last thing she wanted to do was drink. Her stomach was already a jumbled mess that matched her head, the mere thought of her head swimming with alcohol made her woozy.

"I'll pass, but um, thank you," Annette managed to squeak out.

Byleth nodded, her brow furrowed as if she were finally picking up that something was legitimately wrong with her situation. However, Dorothea swooped over from the dance floor, taking the teacher's hand to dance with her, and stealing her away with alarming speed that caused both women to erupt in rapturous laughter.

Annette could only fake a smile. She wasn't upset her professor had abruptly left her to dance, she knew that she couldn't help her any further. She could only mask her slowly increasing negative thoughts for so long, and that was becoming an issue. She thought she would be fine, that she could work through it, but that was when she thought Mercedes was going to be there. Now it was all she could think about, and she hated it. Why was she like this? Could she not enjoy one evening with her long time friends and allies? It all just made it worse. She didn't want it to puppeteer her brain like it had, she just wanted to focus, but could do everything but. Her stomach began to truly churn, it felt like a a stone coated in barbed metal wire was inside her.

She had to leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She wretched, dry heaving one final time in the facilities, nothing leaving her mouth but the excess saliva. She hadn't even eaten much that day, but alas, she was not spared, her anxiety had proven to potent.

In an attempt to get her head straight, she left the gathering, avoiding being noticed by anyone, and went to the student dorms, sneaking into what used to be her room, and tried to lay down. She couldn't even find solace there, as she tossed and turned, becoming more and more dizzied and nauseous. Ultimately she went to the dorm room bathroom because she knew she wouldn't last very long, so there she was, heavily breathing, one arm draped over the toilet, head tilted down, forehead covered in sweat, and breathing heavy enough to to feel like it hurt.

She was so foolish, she thought. Getting worked up over this nonsense. Why did it bother her so much? Did other people in her circumstance feel this way?

The two girls were practically inseparable at the academy. Mercedes helped ground Annette a bit more, making sure she took care of herself almost as often as she studied or worked. Annette was also imperative in Mercedes's growth as a mage, helping her train and learn in a way she could understand, in the way a friend would explain.

Friend.

Annette always suspected something more. She had wondered why, the longer things went on, the more comfortable, yet also the more nervous, she became around her friend. She would even be actively sad on days where they wouldn't see each other, and her worry for the other woman increased immensely. She would keep a watchful eye in battle, knowing she was more than capable of handling herself, but still couldn't be too careful. If there was someone she simply could not bear to lose in the slightest, it was her.

Then the war happened.

Five years apart drove Annette mad. She had escaped the fascist empire put into place by Edelgard, a woman whom she grew to despise more with each passing day, they were in two different provinces, too far apart, with no way to communicate, at least, for a while anyway.

Then the letters came. Usually from a pseudonym, in order to keep things discreet. She would write to Annette, detailing what was going on, and checking up on her, and Annette responded in kind. It may have taken a considerable amount of time for the letters to arrive, but it seemed like every time one of them would write one, it would be even longer than what preceded it, packing in every single detail imaginable. Their correspondence during the war could've been novelized it was so long, and occasionally while waiting for a new arrival, Annette would read letters over and over again, collecting them all, just to hold on to whatever she took from them as tightly as possible. It was one night when she was feeling particularly low, that she unearthed her true feeling about the priestess. She caught herself feeling especially isolated, tears streaming down her cheeks as she read through Mercie's latest letter for the fourth time, relishing every detail, and ultimately breaking when she discovered upon close inspection, that it smelled faintly of the perfume her friend had worn, a sense memory that broke whatever barriers she had built up trying not to sob. It brought back memories from a time in which she thought something like this was impossible. When their futures were brighter and more open to possibilities.

At that point, Annette couldn't stand it. She had to say how she felt. How she missed Mercie's smile, her laugh, her endless devotion, her voice, her willingness to be the best she could be. How she missed her lame jokes, her guidance, her support. She lamented about the distance between the two of them, and how she would travel hundreds of miles to see her if it didn't put their lives in danger. And, most importantly of all: that she was desperately, foolishly, delightfully, and overwhelmingly in love with her. In no uncertain terms.

The wait in response to that letter was the single worst week of her life. She felt like she did currently, only every single day, awaiting the response, unable to stand the silence to the point where she would've preferred a horrible answer to none at all. But, much to her delight, when her letter came, it was like something out of a dream.

Mercedes confessed that she had always felt something for Annette, but never spoke up because she was both too timid and too unsure that her feelings wouldn't get in the way of her most important friendship. She didn't want to lose Annette, or risk losing her, so she bottled it inside, which broke Annette's heart until she realized the depth of the other woman's feelings. Their correspondence changed in tone from then on, becoming far more overwhelming when it came to their feelings. She felt like a character in a trashy romance novel she'd observe Ingrid eyeing on occasion in the library. And she loved every second of it.

Ultimately, when they returned to Garreg Mach, hoping desperately that the others would remember, the two girls were beside themselves. They caught up on what little they managed to not share, they talked to their long lost friends, and ultimately became a team to stop what had separated them in the first place. But before the real battle began, their relationship began to bloom.

Annette loved being around Mercedes, and Vice verse, but now there was a different context. Annette always though her friend was beautiful, but incredibly modest about it, which was even more attractive. And now that things were out in the open, she got to indulge in displays of affection, she got to look at her and admire things she hadn't gotten the chance to before. The mere act of looking at her was enough to make her happy. Then it built from there, starting with holding hands wherever they went together, to hugs and kisses on the cheek, to full blown kissing, to occasional more aggressive attempts at foreplay when they were alone. They were both nervous about the prospect, but overwhelmed by desire as well, so that foreplay slowly grew more and more adventurous. Ultimately, they decided to plan when they would finally move past their more minor displays into something a bit more committed.

She remembered it all so vividly. Showing up at Mercedes' door, bottle of wine in hand, going in with her heart beating out of her dress. Sitting on the floor, talking and drinking as she stroked the blonde woman's hair. Eventually when their liquid courage took effect, they began to move faster. Kisses became longer, touches more fleeting, and minor noises of pleasure they hadn't been treated to yet from the other. It was a bit sloppy, at first just awkward as neither girl knew how to touch the other in a way that would make both parties happy, but that ease slowly overcame them to be more adventurous. She remembered how soft her face was, how she looked with her eyes half-lidded, and how she wanted the girl to touch her everywhere. She'd moved down, kissing her neck, and ultimately worked off the woman's entire outfit while paying close attention to her collarbone, and ultimately ridding herself of her own clothing, leaving them in their smallclothes. She picked up her girlfriend and placed her on the bed, and the two really began to go at it. They were naked in no time, and while not experts by any means, each girl made the other moan for hours on end in their ruthless pursuit of the other's pleasure. Annette was worried she'd come across as too eager or aggressive, but to her shock Mercedes was a very sexual person, who was unexpectedly quite savvy in bed, despite having little past experience beyond being fingered and eaten out by a fellow priestess-in-training in her church years as an adolescent fling, a story that really got Annette going the more she thought about it. Annette was afraid of the idea at first, but quickly learned just how much she enjoyed sex, especially with Mercedes.

But then the unthinkable happened.

Edelgard, that vile woman, it was all her fault. Mercedes was heartbroken to find out her brother, Emile, was on the opposing side of their conflict, a man who had long since been brainwashed and made into a lifeless husk that was known only as 'the Death Knight'. Edelgard had been known to exploit her own people for the sake of turning them into crazed monsters through forced usage of relics, mainly for militaristic purposes. Emile may have succumbed to the darkness before Edelgard's command, but it was her who put Emile in the way of the Knights of Seiros, forcing their hand, rather than getting him the help he needed, as it seemed like the boy hadn't been beyond help. Regardless, it broke Mercedes, and she couldn't help but feel responsible, still fighting steadfastly on the side that had to put her brother out of his misery.

Annette was at a total loss of what to do, or how to approach her girlfriend. She had always wanted to be Mercie's rock, her pillar of support that she so often was for her, but she didn't know what to do. They had to proceed forward the coming month, and the entire time, Mercedes was running on empty. She'd performed her duties in battle well, but off the battlefield, she'd stare listlessly, completely still as if she were a doll made of porcelain. She tried talking to her but it was to no avail. She simply didn't respond with anything but 'I don't feel very well, I'm sorry' in a dull, monotone drone. The years of fighting, the weight of responsibility she felt, and the toll of the dead had gotten to her. They had seen many people whom they'd call friends, or at least comrades, die at the hands of other friends, all because of this damned pointless conflict from that wretched harpy who dared call herself an empress fighting for the benefit of her people, when all she caused was unnecessary pain and suffering. Edelgard made her friends and comrades knights and leaders, she didn't have to watch as they lost those who they loved, and yet she still had the audacity to say the price she paid was comparable to what everyone else had been through when she had met up with Byleth and Dimitri. As Mercedes drifted apart from Annette, Annette's anger at the powers that be, and at herself, only increased.

When the war was finally over, it still wasn't enough to bring the old Mercedes back. They had all suffered so much, but people like her, Ashe, Ingrid, Dedue, Dimitri, and Felix, they all lost more than anyone. Mercedes was a strong woman, maybe even stronger than anyone else Annette knew, but even the mighty have their breaking points. She told Annette that she felt better now that peace was closing in from all sides, but she saw the sadness in her eyes. She saw the mournful expression she had when she thought no one else was around.

The next few months after that were rocky, to say the least. Mercedes grew more distant, and Annette's efforts with helping Dimitri in rebuilding the entire Kingdom's infrastructure kept her away from her beloved more than she liked. Dimitri was a man who bore the burdens of a hundred other men, and knew the sacrifice Annette was making, so he would often try and lighten her workload as much as he could in support of his friend, knowing he didn't want to take her away from her loved ones just as his own family had done with Annette's father. If Dimitri was hell bent on anything, it was not repeating the mistakes of the past, no matter the scale of this mistakes.

Even then, the two drifted apart.

Mercedes eventually said she needed to go back and devote herself to the church, as her faith was wavering in light of recent events. Annette didn't know how to respond, but figured giving her space was the best thing. Mercedes seemed even more troubled until the day she finally departed for the branch of the church they set up in the Alliance, where she finally told Annette that she didn't feel like she was adequate enough to continue being her partner any longer.

Annette wore a brave face that day, as she smiled and nodded at this declaration, tearing up but holding back her sobs long enough to watch Mercedes leave. After that, she couldn't take it anymore. She had been broken. She understood the choice she made, but it was still the collapse of the one thing that made her life were living. She watched the thing she loved the most in the world dissolve and depart before her very eyes, and pretended to be okay with it to spare her love the trauma of knowing she had completely and utterly broke her heart.

As she sat there, eyes closed and streaks of tears running down her cheeks, she relived all of it. Every agonizing moment, which permeated her happy memories too since they all had the undercurrent of sadness. She wanted to see Mercedes, to talk to her, to see if she was doing well... but that wasn't all. She also had the urge to scream at her, to cry and yell about how she felt like she had been abandoned by the person who mattered to her most. She knew that it was Mercie's decision to make, and that she shouldn't have stayed with her just to make her happy, but there was that selfish, ugly part of herself that was resentful towards her former love. She felt discarded, useless, and unimportant, even if she knew that in reality, that more than likely wasn't the case. But the anxiety had a way of overwhelming the logic. Sometimes, no matter how reasonable something seemed, the route that she could blame herself for was the one that she traveled most frequently.

She knew she looked a mess, there was definitely no returning to the party, people would've fussed over her and she would've caved again upon having to explain her sudden and inexplicable change of appearance. Some of them knew about the details of what happened, and even though these people were told this in strict confidence, things had a way of getting around with the network of former students from Garreg Mach. To her immediate knowledge, it was only Dorothea and Dimitri who knew, two people she confided in when things became very rough.

Annette suddenly found herself thinking that perhaps Mercedes hadn't shown because she was avoiding her. It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility, and Annette understood, as she had many internal debates regarding her attendance. Mercie was a difficult person to read, even by those who knew her best, and while ditzy and a bit up in the clouds, she was never callous or thoughtless. Perhaps to her, not attending was indeed the path she viewed as being more kind. She wasn't the most perceptive, but she knew Annette was sensitive and tended to get lost in her own head, so she wasn't exactly WRONG to assume something like that. This minor detour of thought confused Annette even further, as she would've viewed the act as both kind and incredibly cruel. There was always something that turned into the world's sharpest double-edged sword and she hated it.

Ultimately she picked herself up off the floor, managed what she could of her messy hair, and washed her face a bit to appear at least somewhat together... even if upon seeing her reflection she sighed, thinking she looked like she had just been mugged. She didn't plan on seeing anyone else tonight anyway,

She exited the room and shut the door, turning around to walk down the cobblestone path outside that lead to her old dorm room. She knew it wasn't hers anymore, but everyone else was staying in their old dorms to sleep if they intended to stay for the next few days, so she took it as an opportunity to get a head start on sleep. If she stayed in her room too long, she could feasibly use a hangover as her cover in case anyone asked.

The night air felt crisp and just the slightest bit warm. The low volume but audible drone of insects was in the summer air, and the night sky was a a black void only peppered slightly with the occasional dim star. It was a shame she couldn't really enjoy it due to her mood. She hated that this was all so torturous, was it too much to ask to enjoy her reunion with people she loved? Did the fallout from Mercedes have to follow her wherever she went? Was that her own fault for dwelling on it?

She couldn't ask herself anymore questions. It would make it worse.

She arrived in front of the door, pushing open the door to hear that old familiar squeak of the hinges. It was nice to know that after all this time some things really did stay the same- which also applied to the room.

Despite Annette's inability to be entirely focused, she was never really messy, so when she opened the door and found the room to be almost exactly as she remembered, she was a bit relieved. It was nice to have something familiar that gave her comfort.

She wasted no time, falling down onto the bed face first, swinging her legs up onto it. It felt a bit smaller than before... but that may have just been her growing a few inches taller. Nonetheless, it was nice to feel like a kid again. As her nerves calmed a bit, she took notice of how tired the trip there had made her, and had it not been for a strange turn of events, she likely would've fallen asleep within a minute.

"Hello?" a quiet, meek-sounding voice called out.

Annette's eyes shot wide open, as she lay there, totally frozen. She wasn't sure why, other than the primal instinct of being caught off guard, but regardless, her heart picked up speed as she panicked. The voice itself definitely wasn't coming from the room she was in, her door remains closed, but it was certainly close by.

"Is someone t-there?" the voice called out again.

A wave of relief washed over her, as this scenario was beginning to feel all-to familiar.

"Bernie? Is that you?" Annette asked, turning onto her other side facing the wall her bed was backed against.

Bernadetta's room was adjacent to hers, and seeing as she often spent copious amounts of time in her room back in their academy days, it didn't take long for Bernadetta and Annette to become acquainted with one another. The walls in the living quarters were VERY thin, so talking to each other through the walls was easy. Annette was certainly on the lower end of the spectrum of people Bernie found intimidating, so talking to her (especially when there was a wall between them) was surprisingly easy. For a while they would check in on one another and have regular conversations, even helping each other study. It definitely helped Bernadetta come out of her shell in the coming years, and Annette liked having such a reliable confidant. However, like she had with many others, once the war began, she had lost touch with her friend from the Black Eagles, even though Bernadetta was vehemently against Edelgard's course of action. So, naturally, she did what she did best during those five years, hid herself away.

"Yeah it's me alright," she said with an uneasy chuckle.

"Well what are you doing here so early?" Annette asked.

Bernadetta chuckled.

"You know me, never been much for social events,"

In hindsight that was a bit of a stupid question. Annette did understand though, she knew Bernadetta loved her friends, and she knew she was way more outgoing than she used to be, but anxiety wasn't curable, it was only manageable, and at some point, you had to know when to fight your battles for the sake of your well being. She likely said hello to everyone out of politeness and then immediately came here to get a bit of reprieve.

"I suppose that's right," Annette said with a bit of resignation.

"What about you?" the voice on the other side asked, "You doing alright?"

"I... uhm..."

She didn't really know where to begin.

"Let's just say it's a long story and the ending to that story is that I don't really want to be anywhere other than right here right now," she said, unable to hide the doubt that tinged her voice.

There was a brief pause.

"So... you aren't doing okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"

How the tables had turned. Back in the day it was usually Annette that offered to help, but now it was different, and shy little Bernadetta was the one offering to assist. She sighed, the irony here was just a bit too heavy to process.

"Honestly Bernie I have no idea. It's a long story and I feel like I would bore you to tears,"

Bernadetta laughed.

"Well... wait a minute. Hold on,"

Annette squinted curiosity as she heard a distinct 'clink' sound and a bit of commotion come from the purple-haired girl's room, followed by a few dainty sounding footsteps.

Just before she could process that her friend ACTUALLY managed to leave her room, she opened up Annette's door, with a dorky smile in tow. She seemed to be holding something behind her back, intentionally so. Annette could only look more confused.

Bernadetta, with a bit of vigor, then presented what she was hiding, a mostly full bottle of wine with a cork missing.

"Well, if it's a long story, we do kinda have all night," she said with a bit of a shrug.

While Annette was still twofold surprised by the fact that Bernie was drinking all by her lonesome and that the piddly amount of alcohol she consumed seemed to embolden her to show her face when normally she would've been perfectly content staying on the other side of that wall, she couldn't help but smile at the gesture. Of course she could still count on someone.

Or maybe it wasn't the drink, maybe, perhaps, time had simply allowed Bernadetta to grow a bit. Or maybe it was both things, but now wasn't the time for that. Even though it seemed like they were about to have an evening where they'd be acting ten years behind their actual ages, talking about love and their various woes whilst drinking, Annette felt a modicum of relief that anything other than being by herself sounded enjoyable. She nodded.

"Pass me that bottle and you'll have a hard time getting me to shut up," Annette coyly remarked.

Bernie shut the door behind her quietly, and turned back to her friend with the biggest smile Annette had ever seen on her. One of a beautiful sense jovial warmth.

"What are friends for?" She rhetorically posed, with a modest chuckle that Annette couldn't help but return.


	2. Chapter 2

"Damn," was all Bernadetta could manage.

Annette took a hearty swig of the bottle after finally unpacking the last bit of her laboriously long chronicle of her relationship with Mercedes, intimate details included once the wine was involved. They had been sitting on her bed, backs pressed against the wall, talking endlessly for the better part of two hours at this point, though neither girl was tired or disinterested. She passed the bottle back to Annette.

"Right?? What do I even do at this point?"

She hadn't been scant with the details, the finer points of Annette's deepest fears and insecurities showed themselves, in all their ugly, blatant, honesty. She tried her best to consider her ex-girlfriend's feelings as well, giving her some attempt at a voice in order for Bernadetta to fully grasp what happened from all accounts, but Annette was still not a mind reader. And even if she was, it was hard to read the mind of someone you haven't been around for years.

"I just can't believe she left like that... and you hadn't heard from her since that day?"

Annette gave a drunken chuckle that substituted for a sober sob.

"Nope! Not once. I would've written to her but I never knew what to say. And I was just too paranoid that she'd feel obligated to write me back when she didn't want to,"

Bernadetta simply stared slack jawed at her friend, unable to fully understand either of the women involved with this story. They both seemed so preoccupied with what the other one wanted they actively created emotional Molotov cocktails to throw at themselves in order make everything far worse for all involved. They were playing emotional 4D chess, and both opponents were trying their hardest to lose.

It was remarkable how little Annette changed at every interval Bernadetta had seen her throughout her life. As a student she was small, plucky, and brimming with enthusiasm, enthusiasm that unfortunately got tangled up and absorbed by her more self involved tendencies, but it didn't effect how she spoke or acted, it was just baggage she was carrying at her side. Her hair was short, done in the same style as five years ago, colored a dark peachy orange that looked like fall leaves. She had barely aged a day.

The same couldn't be said for Bernadetta, in regards to changing. Her messy unkempt hair from her younger days was gone, now favoring something smoother and bob-adjacent. She had become a bit taller, her shoulders broadened a bit, but she was still miles away from not being 'petite'- which she didn't mind entirely. She looked like she had finally hit a growth spurt of sorts, and was just late to the party.

"Annette, I say this because I care about you, like a lot, but you're a mess," she said rather bluntly, but not without a dose of sympathy.

Annette chuckled.

"Yeah, I am a bit of that, huh? I know I am... I just can't ever do anything that would help it, you know? It's not healthy, I should've gotten over it by now. I KNOW I should've. But I haven't,"

Bernadetta handed the bottle back to her friend.

"It's like I'm talking to a mirror of myself a decade ago," she remarked.

Annette cocked an eyebrow, drinking a bit before she attempted to follow that up, but Bernadetta got the picture.

"The way you feel, it's EXACTLY like I felt after I came here. I shut myself away because I felt the way you feel about Mercedes with EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. It was just so much easier to shut out the entire world so I knew I could be safe from constantly running myself in circles,"

The irony was deepening to a level that Annette, even whilst intoxicated, found to be remarkably cruel. Not that she didn't appreciate the help, but it was strange being consoled about her troubles by the person who was notoriously known for those exact problems.

"Even back then you were better than I am," Annette insisted, "You had much more cause for that, you were treated like garbage your whole life, and you were afraid. Mine is just heartbreak that should've been mended by now,"

Bernadetta shook her head.

"This isn't a competition, Annette. Don't diminish your suffering simply because one other person had it worse. Lots of people have far worse luck than us, but we're still entitled to our own feelings,"

Annette was flabbergasted. Since when did Bernadetta become so sincere, and so sagely? It was like she was suddenly her big sister trying to help her out.

"Ugh I guess you're not wrong, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel awful about it," she said listlessly.

Bernadetta put her hand on her friends shoulder.

"Don't let yourself think that all this is your fault. It's not your fault. It's not Mercedes fault either. It's just how life is, sometimes. I know that isn't exactly new advice or even helpful advice, but it's true. Sometimes all we're left with is our pesky emotions and all the problems they cause,"

Annette sighed, right before another drink after extending her hand for the bottle.

"Yeah, you're right. But that still begs the question: what the hell do I do now? How can I move on? Should I just keep on going forward and wait for it not to hurt anymore? Or do I change something about myself or my life to help me get out of this?"

Bernadetta looked a bit puzzled, but ultimately her expression softened into a smile. As Annette put the bottle down beside her, her friend leaned over and hugged her, catching her totally off guard and unable to return the gesture for a moment, until she realized she should've.

Bernadetta was a surprisingly good hugger for a girl who still looked rather willowy. She pulled back and noticed a small tear formed in the corner of Annette's left eye. Sometimes a hug did more good than you'd guess.

"Do you even consider the fact that this is all more difficult for you because you've been dealing with it all alone? I mean, I know you have other friends and all, but from what you told me, I'm the only person other than you and Mercie who knows about all this, and I JUST found out. I know Mercedes was probably the person who you would talk to about this stuff, but I know PLENTY of people who love and care about you who'd be willing to sit down for a chat or write you a letter. Don't you think that might help? I'm not blaming you, I understand, gods above I understand, but I just think that might do you good,"

Annette thought about that for a moments and had to regrettably agree. Even Dimitri didn't know the extent of her worries and woes. For the last five years it was her sole burden to bare. She had a support system... but that support system was almost wholly dependent on Mercedes.

"Y-Yeah... I guess I can't just keep it all in like this. That's where all those mental knots come from," she sighed.

Bernadetta smiled.

"Hey look at that! There's something for you. You've already got a step to take so you can focus on it. Rebuild your support system. It's not this easiest thing in the world and it requires a lot of explaining as to how you are, but it's worth a shot, isn't it?"

It certainly was, though she lamented having to tell all of this to someone again. It was just so exhausting. But Bernadetta was able to-

Bernadetta.

Maybe it was the drink talking more than her, but in the matter of a few hours, Bernadetta had done more for her state of mind than anyone had in years... possibly since Mercedes herself. Maybe the beginning of her new support system had been gift wrapped to her in the form of an old friend.

"Well, shot in the dark, but, well... can I talk to you about stuff like this, Bernie? I know I'm a lot to handle and it would be awfully time consuming but you're so easy to open up to and-"

Bernadetta blushed and giggled.

"I'll stop you right there, yes I'd be honored to help. Consider me your right hand woman," she said with an exaggerated mock salute.

Annette snorted.

"Thank you," She said taking another drink, "not to push my luck here or anything, but, can I ask you something?"

Bernadetta nodded.

"Well, when did you get so... uh... like this?" She said with a vague hand gesture.

Her friend gave a slightly resigned bit of laughter.

"You mean able to function like a healthy person?"

Annette smiled.

"You said it not me,"

Bernadetta motioned for the wine bottle and took a large gulp of it, wiping her mouth afterward.

"Well, I do care to remind you that I was planning on spending my evening alone being a drunken loser until you showed up so 'healthy' is very relative,"

Annette nodded.

"Touché,"

"Well, if I can be a bit more honest, it's because I've worked on being around people one on one. That's a lot easier. Crowds are still hard. Too much noise, too much to get lost in. The other part is you, talking to you has ALWAYS been easy,"

Annette couldn't help but feel a bit heart warmed by that acknowledgment. She liked to think she helped Bernadetta in some ways back when they first met, so it was nice to have that desire validated.

"That's really sweet of you-" Annette began.

"I only say it because it's true! You helped me a lot. I'm still far away from being a 'normal' person but I'm getting there! Maybe when I'm forty I'll be able to finally attend gatherings and flirt with people,"

That rose a question.

"Well since you don't seem to have the most active social life," Annette said trying to sound as silly as possible so she wouldn't be insulting, "I'm curious, what have you been up to?"

Bernadetta blinked vacantly for a moment, trying to fully process what she was asking.

"Oh, you mean like, what do I DO nowadays?"

Annette nodded taking another drink.

"Well, uh, a job appropriate for me. I'm the treasurer for Dimitri's efforts outside Faerghus. He needed someone to manage costs for rebuilding and restructuring outside of his immediate dominion. I also handle most of our trade overseas, mainly with Brigid since Petra and I have kept in close contact. It sounds all lofty and important when I explain it, but believe me, it's an easy gig for a girl who did well in math and political studies. It's mostly just me at a desk inking on some parchment to send the next day," she explained matter-of-factly.

It did seem like the perfect job for her. It may not have seemed like it, but the girl was indeed smart as a whip, and could grasp numbers very easily. This is what she maintained lead her to be an archer back at the officer's academy, as she was good at geometry and physics, which translated to skilled bowmanship quite easily.

"So you have an easy desk job?" Annette asked with a splash of jealousy.

Bernadetta nodded.

"Not to inflate my nonexistent ego, but I am pretty good at it, the problem with that being my abundance of free time and complete lack of desire to do anything with it. That's honestly why I came here. One day, last month, I stared at a wall for SEVEN hours without interruption,"

Annette's mouth hung open.

"No way,"

Bernadetta motioned for the bottle and eagerly put it to her lips.

"Yup. Figured coming here and being a little anxious was better than, well, literally nothing, you know? Even if I came just to hide away," she said rolling her eyes.

"So you never go out and do anything? Any local friends?"

The purple haired woman sighed.

"Not really, sadly. Talking to people I know in small doses is easy, but strangers? Ugh. Perish the thought. I'll eat with Petra every once in a while when she comes to visit but that's rare,"

Annette didn't know how she did it. She considered herself to be fairly withdrawn when it came to normal standards, but even she got out and traveled a bit either to see friends or just a change in scenery. One thing she never learned at the academy was how beautiful parts of Fodlan were, so she attempted to rectify that. She couldn't imagine doing NOTHING like that. She had many books to read, items to research, and still trained physically from time to time. Her spare moments were few and far between, but we're almost always spent resting. Was Bernadetta that unoccupied? She couldn't imagine the effect that lifestyle would have on her.

"So you just do nothing but work, stare at walls, and sleep?" Annette asked.

Bernadetta blushed with embarrassment.

"Uhhhh Yeah? Mostly. I mean my brain is always busy so I just think a lot, mainly,"

Annette shook her head.

"Not good enough, you gotta do SOMETHING to let loose and have fun. I will totally visit as often as i can for a girl's night, hows that for starters?"

Bernadetta smiled.

"I think I'd like that very much,"

Annette didn't quite fully take in that response because she was too busy rummaging through her brain for ideas as to what she could do to help. Surely there was SOMETHING else...

"Aha!" She exclaimed, "Dating? Surely you've-"

Bernadetta gave an awkward, telling smile. Annette gasped.

"None? At ALL?"

Bernadetta shrugged.

"I mean that whole 'new people are hard' thing applies to dating as well. Hell thats never even been in the ballpark for me. I've never even been on a date,"

Annette was slack-jawed. It wasn't really because it didn't make sense for the girl, it did, but the idea that Bernadetta, who possessed overwhelming kindness and had grown into her looks so well, was such an eligible maiden. It was less about what made her unlikely to pursue dating and how ACTUALLY likely it was that someone would've pushed past her barriers because they would've been madly in love with her. It just felt so improbable.

"Never?" She asked wide-eyed.

"Never," she responded.

But wait... did that mean?

"Wait wait wait... Bernadetta... have you even ever... kissed anyone?"

Her dopey expression didn't change, she shrugged, taking back the bottle for another swig.

Unbelievable.

"How?? How is that even possible? You're... you're just so-"

"Completely terrified by human interaction which makes kissing a bit more difficult?" She jokingly posed.

Annette sunk back into her less intense position leaning back a bit more. She was correct, it shouldn't have been shocking to her that this was the case, but it still was.

"Okay, fair point but... really?"

"Really. Never had any prospective suitors cause I stay away from anyone who might potentially be one. Even if I did, it would be weird doing something like that with someone I didn't REALLY know, or REALLY trust. It's a vicious cycle, I guess, but it's preferable to the anxiety,"

Annette suddenly felt very strange. Perhaps it was the drink or the high she was on finally getting some solace by having a decent time with an old friend, but something about this conversation began to feel... odd.

"Well, what if you got the chance to try it with someone you DO trust?" She poses.

Bernadetta scoffed.

"I mean it sounds nice in theory, but in order to get to 'trust' you have to be able to, well, you know, talk to them,"

"Yes, but what if you had someone you already knew, who you did trust, and would be willing to help. And even maybe give advice,"

What was going on? Annette's mouth seemed to be two steps ahead of her brain, as she didn't fully grasp the implications of what she was saying.

"I mean I wouldn't say it's likely but I fail to see-"

"With me," She interrupted a bit vacantly.

The silence that ensued was crushingly oppressive, as both intoxicated women slowly processed what had just been proposed.

"With... wait what?" Bernadetta asked wide-eyed.

Annette, with no idea what she was doing now, let out a nervous chuckle.

"Well, you trust me, right? And even if you go your whole life without dating or being involved with someone, you HAVE to have your first kiss. It's a milestone! It's not like I mind, either,"

Were those really her words? Did she just actually say all that?

Bernadetta squinted skeptically a bit.

"You've had wayyyyy too much to drink," She said trying to roll with the punches.

"I'm serious!" Annette insisted, "Who better to try it with than with me? And hell, you might need experience for the future. And besides, I'm very used to kissing pretty girls, you'll learn from the best,"

Bernadetta's faux scowl faded and turned into straight confused contemplation.

"Uh... well... huh. I guess... well wouldn't we want to avoid that? That sounds like it could make things a bit er... complicated,"

She couldn't believe she was rolling with this, but the lack of a definitive 'no' emboldened her further.

"Don't sweat it! Many girls I know, yours truly included, practiced kissing with their girl friends to get better at it for later. I did! And it was totally platonic,"

That wasn't a lie, not entirely anyway. Her first kiss was with Mercedes, but at the time, they were still friends just looking to get that milestone over with... and perhaps also indulging in some exploration neither of them had fully grasped at the time.

"Really? So even girls who aren't gay do that?" She inquired.

Bernadetta was beginning to sound like she was writing an incredibly detailed research paper on the matter, which still wasn't a 'no'. The thought briefly snuck up on Annette as to why she was so eager to keep pushing this, but she filed it away quickly.

"Absolutely. It's just kissing. And making out if you want, which is also pretty fun,"

Bernadetta looked at the opposite side of the room, gears in her head turning. Annette's palms were sweating now. She wondered if she made her friend uncomfortable, and wondered why she had such a desire to do something so intimate with her friend. It had certainly been a while since she experienced any form of physical attraction.

"O-Okay," the smaller girl squeaked.

Annette almost didn't hear that, the blaring of her many thoughts that were attempting to convince her why this was a bad idea were really all that she could hear for a minute. But that cut through them like a hot knife through butter.

"Pardon?" She asked in disbelief.

She made eye contact with Annette again.

"Sure, why not? I'm tipsy enough to be brave but sober enough to know I won't regret it,"

Annette wished she could hold her liquor as well as Bernadetta could.

"Oh wow, really? Okay," she said with unwavering uncertainty.

Bernadetta laughed.

"This was your idea, but it seems like you're the one who needs convincing, not me,"

"No no no," Annette insisted, "I just... it's weird. I'd like to and all, I wanna help, it's just... been a while? I guess..."

She trailed off a bit, a forlorn state overcoming her face. Bernadetta looked a trifle concerned.

"Hey, whoa, are you alright?"

Annette had been holding back tears all evening, and she wasn't going to let up now... but that didn't stop her from sounding rather choked up.

"I'm sorry... I think I offered just because... I miss it,"

Bernadetta had that suspicion in the back of her mind, but it didn't bother her initially if that was indeed the catalyst. She would've been surprised to find someone who went through what Annette did and didn't feel a form of longing... and a part of her truly longed to repay the women the debt she knew she owed her for all that help. She loved and respected and Annette, as any decent friend would.

"Well, first," Bernadetta said after clearing her throat to break the ice, "How about this?"

Bernadetta leaned forward and took Annette into her arms. She hugged her about as tightly as anyone feasibly could, and while it definite threw Annette for a loop at first, as she was still staring at the wall behind her friend, but was suddenly overcome with warmth.

A single tear danced down her cheek as she returned the embrace. She hadn't felt genuine physical affection from anyone in a long, long time. Longer than she wanted to think about or quantify. And she knew the Bernadetta she knew from nearly a decade ago had a hard time talking to people, let alone touching or displays of any of her feelings. And yet she did it so comfortably, without a moment's hesitation. As their arms wound around one another, she felt a tiny void in her heart fill itself.

How funny that it seemed to be all it took. Annette laughed amidst her teary-eyed hug, and the two girls slowly drifted apart, still sitting across from one another, separated by only an inch. Annette wipes her face whilst smiling, and Bernadetta simply held onto a humble grin of satisfaction.

"Feel better?" She asked cheerily.

Annette nodded, sniffling a bit.

"Ugh, Yeah, sorry. Drinking and talking about Mercie was just... I was pretty much asking to have a breakdown," she said jokingly.

Bernie scoffed.

"I would HARDLY call that a breakdown. You shed like one tear!! You needed a hug! You gotta remember that you're a human being from time to time, Annie,"

Annie. It had been so long since anyone had called her that.

The two girls smiled and looked at one another, both in a state of slightly drunken dishevelment. Bernadetta's hair had been ruffled slightly on one side, and Annette was pale as a ghost from earlier. The air had an impenetrable silence for a few seconds that neither woman broke. Perhaps it was the fact that she only had an abundance of alcohol in her system and nothing else, but Annette was still feeling something she couldn't explain.

"So, at the risk of saying something stupid... you still down for that kiss?"

Annette's eyebrows perked up.

"Oh, sure. I mean, did you want to?"

Something about Bernadetta's expression changed. It didn't soften, but it felt more inviting...

"Well... kinda? The more I think about it the more I realize you are the only person I'd want to kiss,"

She let that sentiment linger in the air for a moment. It had a bit of ambiguity to it. She didn't say 'practice' kissing. She just said 'kiss'

"Okay... um..." Annette began nervously, setting aside the near-empty bottle, "close your eyes,"

Bernadetta looked surprised for a second, but quickly reconfigured, unable to hide a small nervous smile of anticipatory glee.

She sat there, legs crossed, back straightened, unable to tell whether or not she should pucker her lips due to inexperience, but refrained. Annette simply admires how beautiful her friend was. Even in their less than favorable state... Bernadetta was far from the wallflower she had once been.

She leaned towards her, and heard the lightest of giggles escape the girl when the weight of the bed shifted over. She had to catch herself on one hand that she hurriedly places a few inches from the girl's leg to keep her upright.

She was only a few centimeters from the other girl's face. She couldn't quite bring herself to close her eyes yet, as she typically would. She just stared, momentarily content with the pleasant sight before her. She heard Bernadetta hold her breath for a moment when she realized how close she was, but she never peeked.

She slowed down as her heart began to race. She took a deep breath, inhaling through her nose, and instead of exhaling, she dove forward.

It was awkward at first, as it was quite the one-sided affair. That was to be expected, Annette went for a simple, chaste kiss on the lips, making her friend jump a tiny bit upon contact, and once it happened, Bernadetta was still frozen, unsure of what to do.

Just as Annette was beginning to worry that this was going to go awry, Bernadetta decided to become a bit more active. She mimicked Annette's intensity and pushed out her lips slightly more prominently, to avoid feeling like her friend was kissing a corpse. Annette slightly gasped a bit when the initiative was shown, but didn't back off. Their lips broke apart, but then went back to prolong the kiss further, now that they were on the same level.

Once they pulled back, eyes lidded, all they did was breathe heavily. It was like the sound of their lungs expelling oxygen was the loudest thing in the world. Bernadetta seemed to come to her senses first. Annette opened her eyes fully, and saw a very pleased Bernadette.

"Shit," she said to shatter the silence, "Maybe all those people who thought I was weird for never dating anyone had a point,"

The both of them began to laugh wildly, half out of genuine amusement, half out of misplaced awkwardness.

"Sorry if I was a bit sloppy," Annette said, blushing, "Been a while?"

Bernadetta found her modesty adorable.

"It's okay," she reassured, "Not like I have much to compare it to,"

They laughed again, but far more genuinely this time. The eye contact they made afterwards was very... different, though. Bernadetta had something going on in that head of hers, but the alcohol was really giving Annette a hard time making out what exactly.

"Wanna do it again?"

Annette felt her own heartbeat stop and suddenly start again in the duration of only a few seconds. She gave a nervous chuckle.

"Uh, okay? Yeah," she said trying to figure out what was happening.

But before her thoughts could be elaborated upon, Bernadetta leaned in just as she did, but did it quickly and with copious amounts of rigor. But Annette wasn't surprised. She had prepared herself in the span of a brief, fleeting moment.

This was different.

It started just as their previous kiss ended, but grew a bit more heavy and lustful, especially once Bernadetta grabbed Annette's hair, forcing her in even deeper. As a result, and after a solid amount of time of the kiss not being broken, she decided to turn the power dynamic a bit and opened her mouth. Bernadetta took it like a champ, too. She didn't break away, she didn't squirm, she didn't even make a surprised noise. She just went straight for it, making out in a swarm of heat-of-the-moment ecstasy.

Bernadetta went for broke, and grabbed her friend by the shirt collar, pulling her forward and breaking their kiss as both girls fell back onto the bed, heads where the pillows were, Annette awkwardly splayed atop Bernadetta, trying to arrange herself comfortably, ending up just sort of wobbling over to the other side of the bed laying next to her rather than on top of her.

Both girls took a moment, just looking again, breaths ragged and eyes widened. The best thing about this, was that for the first time in a while: Annette didn't care.

Not in terms of her friend, no no, she was infinitely sympathetic to her in every conceivable way. It was the situation. Bernadetta made her not worry, about her past, about Mercedes, or about the future. She was totally unconcerned with everything that wasn't Bernadetta's deep, dark, wide eyes and soft lips.

Bernadetta, on the other hand, was still processing a few things. A) she didn't mind the prospect of sleeping with one of her friend B) that she didn't mind that her friend was a woman, and C) That she may have built up years of sexual repression that were just released as Annette's kiss broke the dam of her emotions. She didn't know how far she was willing to go, but her confidence, her trust in her friend, and a decent buzz propelled her to test those limits that night.

Annette broke the awkward silence with an out-of-sorts chuckle. Genuine, yet born more from concern than amusement.

"So... uh... what exactly happens now? That was... intense,"

Bernadetta smiled.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. You're the expert,"

The depth to which that statement implied hit Annette like a spear through her heart.

"Uhhhh hardly an 'expert' and I'm a bit... rusty, I guess. But well, that depends entirely on you,"

Bernadetta narrowed her eyes, but erred on the more 'coy' side than a sinister one.

"You're acting like I'm the only person here, Annie-"

Her heart fluttered once again.

"-you're here too. What about you?"

Annette didn't like being put on the spot, the entire purpose of her inquiry was just to see how the other girl felt, she wasn't entirely sure about anything at the moment, as her mind's diminished sense of coherent logic wavered as the evening became so heavy with emotion.

"Uh... right... uh. Erm... huh..."

She was basically just gargling random consonants and vowels at this point in between bouts of silence. It sounded like she was going to swallow her tongue all of a sudden.

Bernadetta rolled her eyes at her friend's inability to be blunt, an irony that didn't escape her entirely, but it mattered not. She took her left hand to caress the girl's cheek, gently turning her head and gaze back to her.

"Okay then, how about this? I'm horny. I really like you and I really trust you, and no matter what you decide, I'll be fine. I'm super nervous about this stuff until I remember it's you i might be doing it with, and you're the only person I've ever thought about like that. If you're weirded out, if you don't think it's a good idea, we can finish that bottle and be stupid a little while longer, go to bed, and then pretend like this never happened. I'm not sure what I want, or what I'm doing, but I am sure of one thing-"

Bernadetta's hand glided down Annette's side, grabbing her hand, and then pulling it forward until she placed it on her own chest. She could feel Bernadetta's heartbeat.

"-whatever it is... I want to do it with you," she said a bit more hushed as she leaned in.

Annette was so taken with her. She had grown so much, become so much more assertive and even determined, even if it was just with her. And she loved it. On a night where any form of companionship would do, Bernadetta filled every possible role. It may have been just to fill a void in her for just one evening, but Bernadetta knew that. She was intimately aware that Annette was in a vulnerable place, but still respected it, and even offered to help.

"I... yes," she squeaked.

Bernadetta gave a small wince.

"You're gonna have to be more specific to what you're saying 'yes' to Annie,"

Annette couldn't really think in anything beyond four syllables, but she tried her damndest.

"Yes. I'd like it if I could be your first time," she said slightly dazedly.

Bernadetta took her hand that she was still clasping, and moved it just above the collar of the top she wore, and eased it underneath the fabric.

"Then show me," She said in a lower tone of voice.

Annette merely nodded and immediately began to switch gears. She couldn't summon any words that would mean much.

Bernadetta was dressed in a modest blouse, which was very becoming of her. It looked comfortable enough for casual wear but also wouldn't be considered terribly un-fancy at a social gathering. Annette wore a dress, as was quite typical of her as well, white and lengthy, but the fringes at the end were a bit tattered, as she had stepped on them repeatedly in her ventures around the academy that evening.

She slowly caressed the edge of the smaller girl's collar bone, sliding it downward, feeling Bernadetta shudder a bit. Her skin was cool, soft, a slight contrast from her lips, which seemed like they could light a fire.

She nervously swallowed, continuing her slight descent, discovering she was wearing a bra, which felt somewhat similar to her own. Far from fancy but it got the job done.

Instead of opting for the expected route, Annette graced her palm upwards, and went over the girl's shoulder, finding its way to her neck, and then to her back. She fumbled around slightly until she found the hook of the bra, and undid it, the garment then slightly dislodged, Bernadetta shivering slightly in response. Annette then retracted her hands, and reached downwards to the bottom of her blouse, then looking to Bernadetta for permission. She nodded eagerly.

She pulled it up over Bernadetta's head slowly, trying not to get caught on anything, as Bernadetta shimmied slightly so he back wouldn't trap the article of clothing on her. They got fairly far, until it stuck awkwardly on her head at the very end. Annette did her best, giving it a few tugs, but it was momentarily stuck.

She stifled laughter as best she could. Bernadetta huffed.

"Shut up!" She playfully teased, pawing at Annette to hurry up.

Annette merely laughed more when her bra casually slid off in the struggle, as it currently looked like she had her topless friend's head in a bag. Bernadetta leaned forward to force her head out, and she did, forcing her face into a pout to the still-laughing Annette.

"I'm sorry," she said wiping away a laughter tear, "it was just... it was the worst time for that to happen,"

Bernadetta shot her a look that seemed to be somewhere in between 'teasing' and 'smoldering' and then covered her eyes with her hands.

"Ooh look at me I'm so sexy with a shirt covering my face, I'm so mysterious,"

Annette giggled.

"When did you become so much of a goofball?"

Bernadetta smiled.

"As soon as I remembered how fun you were to be around... and because it's easy to be goofy when you're nervous," she said, her smile not faltering, but her body language told a different story- her arm was slowly rubbing the other up and down.

Annette was still nonetheless impressed with how she carried herself thus far. It was nice to be around this new version of her.

"Why don't we make it even then?" She asked, winking, gesturing towards her own dress.

Bernadetta nodded.

The next few minutes was a jumbled mess of the two girls trying their best to remove what clothing the other had, often resulting in a humorous struggle. Getting Annette's dress off was an ordeal, and she even had trouble getting her own bra off, seeing as Bernadetta couldn't quite get a hang of it from an angle she wasn't used to. However, it didn't take too long for both girls to be in nothing but their underwear.

Bernadetta gave one look at Annette and gave a lightly shuddered breath. Annette smiled and grazed the girl's cheek with her hand.

"Still nervous?" She asked kindly.

"Yeah. Hard not to be," Bernadetta said looking up and down at the entirety of Annette.

She leaned in, kissing her on the cheek, pressing their bodies together lightly.

"You sure about this? It's not too late," Annette checked.

Bernadetta nodded.

"Absolutely," She said with confidence, leaning in to return the kiss from just a moment ago, but went the more aggressive route, breaking it after what felt like several small eternities.

"You're so pretty," She said.

Annette blushed. Even half naked she still found ways to feel slightly embarrassed.

Looking down at Bernadetta, she returned the sentiment. She was still a bit smaller than the already petite Annette, but she had shapely legs, toned thighs, and what appeared to be a rock solid abdomen. She had boobs that were just about the perfect size for someone as small as her, her arms had a bit less muscle tone than they used to back when she had been more active, but it didn't matter. Annette only saw her friend in front of her.

"You're not so bad yourself Bernie,"

She blushed at hearing her old nickname in such a positive context.

The two leaned in, nuzzling each other's noses for a moment, and then diving into a kiss that somehow had the combined ferocity of every one of them thus far.

Bernadetta seemed to be trying to maintain a balancing act of being aggressive without being *too* much to handle. That and a healthy amount of inexperience didn't help, but she wanted to make up for it with enthusiasm. She had one hand on the other girl's shoulder, pulling her in a bit, and the other just barely touching the area right between her breasts, unable to determine whether or not she should act on that impulse.

Annette was currently beginning to sweat a bit, trying to match the girl's kiss but also trying to formulate an idea of what to do next. She knew she was the one with prior experience, and thus probably should've been the one to first take charge and not rely on Bernadetta. She had two main things going against her: one, that she hadn't been intimate with anyone in literal years, and two, her head was still swimming in the light intoxication from earlier. She knew Bernadetta was too, but she couldn't lose sight of the fact that she was trying to help her friend feel better about physical intimacy, so there was a little bit more pressure.

She ultimately decided to quickly pull away, and start to kiss along Bernadetta's jawline. She raggedly caught her own breath as Annette seemed to dance down her face with dainty kisses reaching her neckline quite fervently, where the kisses felt like they were touching upon a more sensitive area. Bernadetta let out very telling, soft noises of approval, which put Annette at ease slightly.

She finally bit the bullet and made contact with her breasts, kissing the top of the one on the right and putting the other into the palm of her hand, gently massaging it, trying to ease her friend into it. She drew circles with her tongue, as it seemed to be the source of Bernadetta's less humble sounds, arriving at the nipple where she began to lightly suck. The attention she was paying Bernadetta made her lightly squirm, which Annette could've worried over, but instead she decided to take a bit of pride in it. She felt the girl restlessly rub her legs together as she proceeded. Annette knew half of what made sex great was foreplay, so she figured she'd keep at it a little longer.

Bernadetta may have been writhing a bit, but she was in heaven. Annette's warm tongue on her cold skin gave her goosebumps, sending odd waves of warmth throughout her whole body, almost pulsating in rhythm with her heartbeat, which had inexplicably slowed due to her present state of bliss. Annette had a more skilled hand than she let on, preying on Bernadetta's sensitivity in the best of ways. It was a new sensation she had to get used to, but once she did, she didn't know how she'd gone so long without seeing what it felt like.

Annette kept up the pace but decided to move things along a bit more, taking her unoccupied hand and placing her palm flat on Bernadetta's abdomen. She slowly slid it downward, barely making contact with her skin as she went along. Bernadetta went from softer noises to slightly quieter moans, which was Annette's cue to keep going.

Eventually she got to the point where her hand was just above the hem of Bernadetta's underwear. She dislodged herself from the girl, eliciting a brief but audible whine from her, and looked her in the eye.

"Hey, you ready?"

"Yeah I think so," she answered cautiously.

And with that, she slipped her hand beneath her undergarments, watching Bernadetta's wide-eyed expression as she made contact. She would've kissed her, but there was a large part of her brain that simply wanted to get a look at her while she fingered her just so behold the sight, and it didn't disappoint.

At first it was almost a wince, but she soon began to close her eyes and started to softly moan, without fully letting it escape from her mouth. Annette enjoyed the sight immensely, but definitely not as much as Bernadetta seemed to be enjoying herself. She was wet, to the point where the top of Annette's hand felt where it had soaked through slightly on her underwear. But she still took things slowly, starting by methodically and purposefully rubbing her outer lips, just to get things going.

She furthered her advance by slipping her middle finger in the center of her pussy, only grazing the outside to tease a bit, and her forefinger and ring finger remained on her lips, a change that caused a noticeable hasting of Bernie's breath. She could see her chest rising and falling in rhythm with her ministrations, it was like she was playing the world's most beautiful instrument. And Bernadetta was very okay with that, in the rare moment she could find a coherent thought amidst it all.

As soon as she seemed to melt into more unrestrained moans, Annette began more properly, moving two fingers all the way inside the girl, making Bernadetta's eyes shoot open as she muttered 'oh shit' under her strained breath.

She had forgotten how good this felt. It was one thing to be on the receiving end of sex, but as time went on, Annette learned to enjoy being more of a giver. Bernadetta was soft all over, but inside her it was different. She was small and about as tight as her size would imply, her inner walls basically constricting Annette's fingers, which felt all the more satisfying on both ends. It was a feeling so visceral and exciting she forgot how much she liked doing it.

When Bernadetta was in danger of becoming too loud, even if they assumed no one was around, she went in for a long, deep, fiery kiss as Bernadetta's moaning and misc. sounds muffled instantly. She could feel the girl's near sensory overload, squirming slightly and unable to control herself, but held her tightly with her freed hand to keep her close and still. Her fingers pumped in and out vigorously, like she hadn't lost a single bit of her skill. She knew that Bernadetta wasn't going to last much longer considering the potency of the reaction, so she went for broke and put her thumb right against her clit.

At first Bernadetta didn't even know what happened, her body seemed like it went numb right before a white hot sensation flooded her spine and nervous system. The feeling of Annette being inside her was one thing, but this was something else. As she picked up speed with it, Bernadetta didn't take long to break from the kiss and give out one final, primal cry that started as a scream and ended more like a sigh. Her back arched slightly, and Annette didn't relent until the girl laid back down, panting, eyes lidded, enjoying her sudden post-orgasm afterglow.

Annette figured it would be a bit shorter due to her lack of experience, and more than a little noisy and explosive, but she was surprised to find her orgasm yielded, well, rapturous results.

Annette took her hand out, looking at it in front of her friend, who's vision was just a bit blurred. Her hand was covered in a thin fluid, almost completely down to her wrist. In a moment of emboldened bravely, Annette kicked her fingers clean, making Bernadetta open her eyes a bit.

"Holy... h-holy shit,"

Annette gave a large grin. She couldn't hide her pride in her work. She feared she would be too rusty, but maybe she hadn't totally lost her touch.

"I'm glad you had fun," Annette said, planting a kiss on the smaller woman's forehead.

For a moment after that relatively tame kiss, Annette backed away, but stopped, as the both of them just laid there... but just for a moment.

Bernadetta seized the moment, lunging forward to kiss Annette on the lips as fervently as she had just a few minutes ago. Annette was surprised, but ultimately gave way. Bernadetta turned red as she could still taste herself a bit from Annette's tongue. It didn't last long, but both girls reeled from it's impact as soon as it ended.

Before the kissing was just a precursor to sex. It was done almost out of obligation for the sake of the experience, to ease things in, but now it was different. Bernadetta did it purely because she wanted to. Nothing complicated about it. On Annette's end, she wasn't exactly sure what to think. It wasn't like post-coital kissing was uncommon, but for that particular moment and circumstance, it felt odd... even though she didn't necessarily mind. The display of intimacy was, in actuality, appreciated greatly. It was nice to feel wanted again.

"So...?" Bernadetta mused.

She looked downward, and for a moment Annette was confused. She peered down her line of sight to see that Bernadetta was looking at her undergarments, which were, unsurprisingly, a bit soaked.

"O-oh. Well, uh, I mean-"

Annette was interrupted when Bernadetta lifted up her chin with her finger, gazing into her eyes longingly.

"Can I? I mean... if you don't mind. I just... It was really nice, and I just want to... show my appreciation?"

The way she danced around it was simply adorable.

"That's really sweet but you don't h-"

Before she finished, Bernadetta did the complete unexpected and simply shoved her hand into Annette's underwear, causing a sharp high-pitched yelp from the other girl who immediately covered her mouth to stop herself. Bernadetta leaned in, close enough so that their bodies touched again.

"I don't think you understand," she said with a lower tone in her voice and a sultry grin, "I *really* want to show you how much I enjoyed myself,"

Annette was taken aback, currently mystified at her display of raw courage, and still reeling from the fact that Bernadetta had put her fingers inside her without warning, and in her current state, not moving them felt like absolute torture. She would've been okay if the evening ended there, perhaps finishing herself off quickly to go to sleep, but now her heart was beating so fast it felt like she'd never sleep again.

"Go for it then," she said, trying to play coy and winking at her.

Bernadetta looked so uncomplicated in her joy at the moment.

She wasted no time, attempting to replicate the feeling of what Annette did to her, just not as gracefully. She immediately took to quickly pecking and kissing downward, very eager to get to Annette's breasts as she started to slowly finger the other girl. Annette had been longing for someone to touch her like this for a long time, even the amateurish nature of it all felt exciting, it reminded her of her earlier days of lovemaking and how new it all felt.

Bernadetta had latched onto her right breast with both her mouth and her hand, sucking and massaging as she continued to finger her, and Annette was simply in heaven. Masturbation was a relief when she took part in it, but nothing beat the presence of another. Bernadetta's display showed her one thing she needed to be reminded of every so often: that she was still desirable to someone.

In a sudden turn, Bernadetta took her fingers out of Annette, causing her to shiver for a moment, as she hooked a finger under her underwear, and slid them downward, and hurriedly kissed an eager line of kisses until she was looking right at Annette's pussy. Both girls had an impossibly small nervous gulp, neither one of them detected the other, but there was tension in the air.

She wasn't totally sure if she would do it, but she sympathized. The first time she had taken a foray into eating pussy it was intimidating. She had no experience and no formal knowledge about what to do, so essentially, as she and Mercedes had sex more and more, she just learned what worked best and got very good at it. For Bernadetta to be contemplating that, it couldn't have been easy. But Annette wouldn't lie to herself, she certainly wanted her to try. There was no better feeling in the world than being eaten out.

Bernadetta breathes steadily, as Annette turned from being partially on her side to all the way on her back.

"I hope I don't mess this up," Bernadetta said, not entirely sure if she said that in her head.

Annette looked down at the girl, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Do whatever feels right to you, if you do anything wrong I'll tell you, okay?"

She looked a bit more at ease, but only just.

She gently moved Annette's legs apart a bit more for easier access, feeling how soft her thighs were, which was a sight to behold. Annette was petite by most standards, but from the look of it, she had a big, curved, round ass that was complemented by shapely legs. She fought the urge to ask the girl to sit on her face just so she could get a better view.

She looked ahead, starting at her destination. A few hours ago she never would've figured this was where her evening would take her. She never considered herself attracted to women before, though she didn't devote the attention to give it any serious thought. And now here she was, not only wanting to repay her friend, but also just wanting to see how much she enjoyed it. Annette's womanhood was glistening and covered in a thin fluid not unlike the one Bernadetta had seen on Annette's fingers. She wanted it, and she wanted to make her friend feel good.

In an effort to rip the bandage off quickly, she simply opened her mouth and tried to cover as much of the girl's folds her mouth, kissing her center first. It was an odd taste and sensation, a tangy, fruity sort of thing that she didn't really mind all that much, which was a trifle unexpected. She stuck out her tongue and began to slowly, intently, and purposefully lick Annette up a mind down. She found certain sorts that seemed to do more for Annette, and she would focus on alternating between said spots. It was odd seeing how much she enjoyed it, the feeling of Annette becoming wetter and wetter with each passing lick just proved to be addictive.

Annette nearly screamed when the girl had found her clit and began to suck on it, which was a bit premature, as usually waiting a bit longer was better for stimulation purposes, but that didn't matter. Her eyes shot open and her mouth developed an 'o' shape that produced no noise as Bernadetta amateurishly sucked and licked her most sensitive spots.

"Fuck... fuck... oh my god please don't stop,"

And with that, she took her advice and then some, by starting to both lick AND finger her, which means it took all of thirty to forty second to make the girl cum. As she did, she held tightly onto Bernadetta's hair, shoving her forward and bucking tightly into her face as she rode out the orgasm. Bernadetta even liked the slightly rough treatment.

As she calmed down from the best orgasm she had in years, she felt totally at peace with everything, as if the anxiety she felt earlier was a distant dream, or that it melted away. Bernadetta attentively licked the juices that had found their way onto the girl's thighs, and even returned to her pussy to do the same, cleaning up as much as she could and enjoying it very much.

Eventually she ceased and returned to being right alongside her friend, both naked, pressed against each other, tired, and almost orbiting being sober at this point. Instead of words, they simply put their arms around each other, slowly but still passionately making out for almost twenty minutes, just because neither one wanted to stop once starting. They stopped, and both laid back on their sides, Annette big-spooning the smaller girl, arm wrapped around her naked body, nuzzling her neck until she found peace in sleep and didn't fall asleep too far afterwards.

What a night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning began when the door to their room opened, the squeaky metal hinges whining as it moved. The sunlight shone from outside directly onto the two girls, instantly waking them up. Both of them were still tired, moderately hungover, and physically exhausted from last night's lovemaking that it took both girls a moment to recall where they were and what was happening.

Bernadetta was still half asleep, but Annette was awake, and blurry though her vision may have been, she sat up to see who had opened the door so rudely without knocking, but could tell who at first. They looked tall, had shorter blonde hair, a hat, and clothes only worn typically by-

Oh shit.

Annette rubbed her eyes and looked back up in rapt horror upon seeing who their visitor was.

Mercedes.

"Oh... I... Professor... er, Byleth told me you were looking for me last night and that you seemed a bit... urgent... I'll leave you two be,"

And like that, she exited the door nearly twice as fast as she had entered.

It still hadnt quite hit her yet, but it was enough to know she was horrified. Bernadetta was beginning to wake up, and suddenly, totally ignorant to the situation. However, Annette wanted to jump into the fishing pond and drown.

What the hell was she going to do now?


	3. Chapter 3

Bernadetta sat up with all the urgency she could muster, trying to preserve her modesty somewhat by covering her chest with the blanket, but by the time she could parse what was happening, she saw the door to the room close. She turned to Annette, who looked like she had just been shot in the chest by a particularly large arrow.

"Um... what-"

"Mercedes," She said, unblinking, "that was... that was Mercedes,"

Bernadetta made a small 'o' with her mouth, wondering if Mercedes had even seen that she was there, or rather, if she did, if she cared in the slightest. She turned over to the shell-shocked Annette, putting her free hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly.

Annette closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to correct her many scattered thoughts.

"Oh wow I don't even know how to begin to answer that question," she said slightly dazed.

Bernadetta didn't really know how to handle this, she could far more easily play guru when it came to matters of self-evaluation, but this was something else. She rotated a bit and slid off the bed, bending over to pick up the strewn about clothing from the night before. She stood up, tossing Annette her dress, which landed directly on her head and draped over her body. She didn't even flinch. The potential seriousness of their predicament was the only thing keeping her from laughing. She strained keeping in a chuckle as Annette gave way, falling back onto her bed and using her wadded up dress to muffle an exhaustive scream of pent-up anxiety. Bernadetta was officially treading water that ran far deeper than her comfort zone.

Annette took the dress down and stared at the ceiling.

"What the fuck am I gonna do? She... I... we... Ugh I have absolutely no idea what's happening,"

Bernadetta smiled.

"Well, uh, if it's any consolation, in the past 12 hours I've found out I was bisexual, had sex with my friend who ushered in said bisexual awakening, and then her ex girlfriend, who is also my friend, saw us topless in bed together so you're not exactly alone,"

Bernadetta was attempting to bring a sort of awkward levity to the situation, but it made Annette feel a pang of guilt. Even for as much progress as she had made, this must've been a lot to process for her, Annette still hadn't even recovered from the initial shock... even though her weight of emotional baggage was a bit heavier.

"Dammit I am so sorry I got you dragged into this. Bernie, I'll talk to Mercedes as soon as I get ready and-"

Bernadetta put her finger over her lips after leaning forward next to the bed.

There was something about her face that looked different. She had an expression of softness, but it was almost as if something busy was happening behind those beautiful eyes.

"Shush. You don't have to do anything, I'm fine," she said with a smile, "I am an adult who will figure her shit out after I take a shower and put on clothes that don't smell like Manuela's desk cabinet,"

Annette felt like she was in some kind of bizarre mirror universe.

Everyone who was at Garreg Mach planned on being there for several days, as it was a long trip and a lot of people, so the professor suggested they make the most of it. There was no set date, but she couldn't just LEAVE now, especially since she saw that Mercie was here. She was going to have to talk to her. To confront her.

It was exactly what she wanted last night and now she wanted to do literally anything BUT that. But it wasn't just her anymore.

"You... gods Bernie you really are perfect, you know?" She asked rhetorically.

Bernadetta slipped on the last bit of her clothing and triumphantly stood up straight, stretching.

"Perfect enough to have dinner with later tonight?"

Annette gave a cheeky smile and chuckle.

"Are... look Bernadetta if you're joking this isn't really the best time," she said a bit genuinely worried

The other girl playfully scoffed.

"Okay just because I can talk to you doesn't mean I'm capable of being that callous,"

She finished her sentence hanging on the final word, as if she was waiting for a response. Annette almost couldn't believe it.

"Dinner? Tonight?"

Bernadetta let out an uneasy smile.

"You don't have to say yes and if you want this to be a one time thing I get it, but you know, you're really amazing, Annie. I figured it was worth a shot, you know?"

Annette furiously shook her head.

"No no of course! I-I would love to. That sounds really nice,"

Bernadetta gave out a cute little sigh of relief and a look of unabashed joy, something that warmed Annette's heart. She straightened herself out, and leaned over, kissing the still unclothed girl on the cheek.

"I gotta go clean myself up and let everyone know I'm actually here, not sure half of them even know I showed," she said with a shrug.

She took a few steps forward, opening the door, and looking back at Annette before exiting the room, giving her a wink that nearly melted her.

The new Bernadetta was so *hot*

Her brief attempt at fantasizing about Bernadetta for the smallest of moments was halted when she remembered what all had happened. She had to do this. She had to talk to Mercedes... even if she didn't know exactly why, or what to talk about. But there was closure to be had. She could think about her date and newfound crush later... she had to get dressed and compose herself. She had to confront this. THEN she could enjoy herself. It would be like pulling off a bandage. Just ripping it off... even though the bandage was covering something more like an infection than a cut. It was too early for similes.

Time to get to work.

~~~~~~~~

She had spent nearly two hours getting ready, which was a rarity for her. She was never one to put an egregious amount of thought into how she looked, she saw the nightmare that Dorothea put herself through when she went out to impress and it sounded like such a hassle. Annette loved getting to the point, the bottom line, so there was no real wasted effort. But today was different, she didn't want to give the impression she was overdoing it... but she also wanted to look like she was doing well. A shower did a lot to help her clear her head. She was still a bit rough around the edges from last night, being drunk and sleeping half naked was enough to frizzle her hair and make her look a bit wild, but in tandem with the sex, that made her look and feel like she had run a marathon. She had to stay focused and concentrate on the task at hand, as her thoughts drifted towards Bernadetta whilst in the shower, and she had almost begun touching herself reflexively.

A part of her still couldn't believe it, she's actually slept with Bernadetta. She was tremendously excited for their date later, using that as incentive any time the Mercedes situation gave her pause. She knew that she liked Bernadetta, in fact 'like' almost undersold it, but she hoped that the previous night hadn't been enjoyable largely due to her feeling a sense of catharsis. Maybe sex with her had been an unconscious effort to stick it to Mercedes, or at least the parts of Mercedes that she still resented for leaving her. But Bernadetta was so nice, so friendly, and so much fun to be around... it was like all that time hadn't even passed, and they were still schoolgirls with all of their future ahead of them. She was so warm, so intimate, so confident, and so earth-shatteringly hot because of it. She already had a quiet elegance about her, her soft features and expressive face were omnipresent in her mind, her soft lips and beautiful silky hair...

Focus, Annette. Focus.

She threw on some casual clothes that were comfortable enough not to bother her but nice enough to look presentable. A cute blouse with light embroidery around the hem, one she had been told she looked quite good in once, and she was thankful she thought to bring it with her.

She had tracked down a deeply hungover Byleth, ever the enthusiastic partygoer, and figured out where she could find Mercedes. However, she needed this to be a 'one and done' situation, and also managed to track down Felix, who happily relayed a message for her to meet her outside a cafe in town at around 3:00. She didn't object to seeing her former girlfriend more than once over the course of her stay, but this context was simply something that needed to be done swiftly. Perhaps it would even allow herself to be around her in the future without being plagued by her anxieties, which may have been wishful thinking, but would've been nice.

It took a considerable amount of psyching herself up for her to actually leave. She knew this wouldn't even take all that long, in an hours time, it would all be over. She could get all of what she wanted to say... even if she didn't exactly know what that WAS, and then her worries could be dealt with and put aside. She knew planning would be a bad idea, she'd try and stick to an outline of things too closely and forget something or get tripped up and have a panic attack. It had to be off the cuff, from the heart.

She showed up to the place about ten minutes early. She had no desire to prolong the affair, but after her morning, showing up late would've been a bad look. She tried to compose herself and have the visage of someone who was somewhat confident upon sitting down. She had been lead there by a waitress, onto the outside porch of the rather rustic looking place. There was a pergola overhead with vines and flowers woven in, and it was relatively quiet and sunny outside. She was seated at one of the tables in the shade, thanking the woman and opening the menu as she sat down, sitting straight up, leaning to one side as she cracked her back slightly. Bernadetta really had done a number on the girl. She needed to be a bit more limber.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few minutes had passed, and only a bit of the coffee she had ordered had been sipped when someone finally appeared in her peripheral vision. Her heart jumped, seeing that it was the waitress, with another woman following in tow. It had been the same woman she saw just a few hours ago, but now a far clearer version of her had manifested. One that didn't come in the midst of panic and recently awoken confusion.

Mercedes looked radiant, as she always did. Short blonde hair, sky blue eyes, wearing her usual religious attire. Annette remembered that she used to joke about how it looked like she dressed in pillowcases, warranting teasing from both women about their wardrobe choices. It was a bit more stripped back than her earlier, busier outfits, but the cream colored dress and top were roughly the same. Like Annette, she hadn't aged a day.

Her heart stopped as she appeared, for a brief second the sound drowned out entirely, and she only saw Mercedes mouth what she wanted to the waitress before she stepped away, and the focused her vision on Annette, her soft, kind expression not at all faltering. Time seemed to be suspended until their eyes met, when the sound of everything around them popped back in.

"Hi," Mercedes said, "How are you?"

"Yeah I'm... I'm good. How're you?"

Mercedes nodded.

"I'm well. It's very good to see you Annie,"

Being called 'Annie' last night had felt so wonderful, now it felt like a dagger being plunged into her heart.

"Good to see you too Mercedes," she said sounding as natural as possible.

Their mutual greeting revealed how truly awkward this all was proving to be. Both women were already struggling with what to say or ask because they had no clue how this was going to go.

"How have you been? At the church I mean," Annette hurriedly asked.

Mercedes seemed to relax her shoulders a bit on that inquiry.

"Oh it's wonderful. I took up a teaching position once we made repairs, they set up a school, so all the children without homes have a place to stay and learn. It's very nice,"

She couldn't have chosen a more obnoxiously saint-like profession. Annette couldn't help but feel irked by the fact that the woman still radiated this aura of unapproachable piety. She was being bitter, she knew that, so she did her best to file that away. It was good that she liked her job, and it was good that she was doing good things.

"How about you?" Mercedes asked, finally receiving a cup of tea from the waitress.

Annette cleared her throat.

"Oh, you know. Just working like I always have. One of Dimitri's knights so I just kinda go wherever I'm needed, though these days it's nothing major, you know the drill,"

She was probably downplaying her role a bit, as in recent years Dimitri had gone out of his way to say he considered Annette an invaluable colleague and scholar, but she didn't want to develop a big head about things. She enjoyed her duty and happily worked wherever she was needed, learning at every opportunity.

Mercedes smiled. That wide, all encompassing grin that radiated warmth.

"That's good! I'm glad you're doing well,"

She took a sip of her tea, which Annette replicated, discovering she had taken a few nervous sips already as the cup was almost empty.

"So uh..." she began, "I guess you wanna know why I invited you here, huh?"

Here it was. She was closing in. The endgame.

Mercedes looked a trifle confused.

"Well, I suppose so, but I see no reason why two old friends can't catch up and have a bit of tea just for the sake of it," she said sounding almost childishly naive.

She hated how she could only refer to her as a 'friend'. Yes, they weren't together anymore, and she didn't have an alternative, but after what they had, weren't they more than that? Maybe Mercedes considered Annette to be more than a friend but less than a partner though... Annette was hurt and angry but she knew she couldn't use that as an excuse to take everything so harshly. She knew this couldn't be easy for Mercedes either.

"Well... firstly..." she began nervously, "About this morning-"

"Oh Annette it's fine," she said with a nervously-tinged giggle, "I'm sorry you were looking for me, I was delayed a bit. I probably should've knocked, that was rude of me..."

"No no, it's okay, I probably would've forgot to knock on your door too. I just wanted to say, i know that was probably awkward, and I'm sorry if it was weird. We were both drunk and lonely last night, we had talked a while, and well, yeah. I just didn't want you to think I did that all on purpose or anything,"

Mercedes looked perplexed.

"Well, I don't exactly have an objection, I'm glad you had someone there for you. But why would I think you did that on purpose?"

Annette actually didn't even think about that.

"Oh... w-well you know, I said I was looking for you, and I went back to my room, which is probably where you'd look for me... and Bernie was there..."

Both women had to take a moment to absorb that. Annette immediately regretted using Benradetta's nickname.

"Well no, I didn't think that was the intent... was it?"

Annette looked a trifle dazed.

"No! Gods no. I just... Ugh," she began, immediately regretting her approach to this, "No. I was looking for you last night because I wanted to speak with you. I have a lot of reservations about how we left things between the two of us, and it's been that way for years, and I just wanted to tell you and get it all out there so I could finally get some closure for myself. But you didn't turn up, I was a wreck, and then, well, I found Bernadetta and we started drinking... and you know the rest,"

She didn't mean to just ramble it all out there like that, but Mercedes seemed to understand where she was coming from. In her head she was slightly more concise, but Annette knew she was at least getting somewhere.

"Of course, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was assuming," Mercedes said, a forlorn sadness hidden by the faintest smile overcoming her face.

The two sat there in silence, mainly because they knew where the inevitable conversation would steer. The both of them simply wanted to rummage through the other's head to see their true intentions and feelings because they're words weren't doing them well.

"I'm sorry this was so... sudden," Annette said, staring into her cup.

Mercedes gently smiled.

"It's okay. I didn't exactly leave you in a comfortable position..."

There it was. Acknowledgment.

"Yeah... I-" she took a deep breath, "I know it's in the past. And I never tried to get into contact with you... but it was because I was hurt. I know you had to do what was best, but I was left here with almost nothing. I practically ripped Dimitri a new one so he could keep me working. The more time passed the more alone I felt... and every day that passed not hearing from you, I felt less and less inclined to. We're both at fault for that.. but I knew you were going to be here, and I knew I needed to speak with you. I just wanted some form of closure... I know it's petty to have held onto this for so long, but I just haven't healed yet. And I want to. I want to move on. And I don't want to sound like I'm blaming you, I know it's not your fault, but I just couldn't keep it all inside,"

Mercedes had the makings of a tear in her eye, but it never went beyond welling up. She somehow kept it together. Annette was in the verge of doing the same.

"I understand," she said, anxiously fussing with her hands in her lap, "Truth be told, I wanted to speak with you as well. We may have not kept in contact, but my emotional distance perhaps proved more of an obstacle more than physical distance did. I wished I had handled things differently, but I didn't. And I regret that. I'm sorry. After Emile..."

She clenched her fist, fighting with all her might to contain control.

"I became overwhelmed. I was in a deep melancholy, and being away from you made it worse, but I couldn't hold you back while I tried to recover. I was so worried that everything would fall apart that... I made it all fall apart so I could stop the worrying,"

That... was not the answer Annette expected. Mercedes wasn't entirely certain she actually said what she did. This was far from the uncomplicated 'sorry now we can both move on' than Annette thought she'd get.

"Mercie..." Annette began but couldn't finish.

Mercedes smiled.

"No, Annette, it's okay. That's all in the past, no need for me to be upset over old memories. It's just hard sometimes, I'm sure you agree with that,"

Annette nodded.

"So, I guess... I don't know what I wanted to say either beyond that I was sorry for how everything happened. In hindsight, I probably made the worst decision I could have, but hindsight was the only way I could know that. We both suffered, as a result. I prayed to the Goddess every day for you, to maybe allow you to deal with things better than I did, but she can't solve all of my problems for me. I could've acted, and I didn't. I'm very sorry, Annette,"

Mercedes had reached across the table, putting her hand on Annette's, eyes teary and full of regret.

"I'm sorry too, Mercedes," she said, "I think we both lost too much after the war ended. We were both put under emotional strain we didn't deserve but that we couldn't avoid. I love you, Mercie, a part of me always will, especially because I still think we're both largely the same people we were before everything happened. And for what it's worth, I'll always be around and happy to help from now on. It's only because I loved you as much as I did that all of this was so... painful,"

Mercedes nodded, wistfully staring to the streets as she looked like she was remembering something.

"It was... And I appreciate you saying that. I did very much enjoy our time together. I'm glad so much of my youth involves memories of the two of us. I hope that maybe you have a few more good memories than bad ones of the two of us,"

Thankfully, Annette knew without hesitation that she did. She remembered the days they had before the end of the war, when they got together as reunited lost loves, who spent every spare moment together. It may have been during conflict, but that didn't matter. The bonds that they had, that everyone they knew had, were all that kept them going. She remembered finding Mercedes in the monastery and then getting breakfast with her, sitting down with their former classmates and friends as if nothing had changed since their school days. She remembered Mercedes brushing her hair some mornings when things became rather unkempt. She remembered their first kiss that happened at the fishing dock during sunset. She remembered how safe and warm she felt in her arms, that as long as she was next to her, there wasn't a conflict great enough to overcome them.

"I do," Annette said, finally letting one tear run down her face, as she wiped it away, she laughed reveling in her overblown sentimentality, "most of my good memories involve you,"

Mercedes beamed at the mention of that. The burden that she may have been partially responsible for Annette's troubles over the years was lifted slightly. She wanted to be a net good in her life, if nothing else, and somehow, it seemed like she was.

"You know, speaking of all this, I have something for you," Mercedes said.

Annette perked up a bit, wondering what possibly could've segued into this.

Mercedes dug through her pockets, eventually finding the small object she was looking for, taking it out by holding it in her fist. As she held it in front of her, she looked like she didn't want to let it go for a moment, but reached out anyway, dropping into Annette's free hand.

It was a small silver band, with a small, rare gemstone on it. A ring. HER ring.

"One of the many reasons I wanted to get to see you was to return that to you. I felt bad, holding onto it, you know, considering our circumstances,"

Annette couldn't believe she forgot about it. The turmoil of the aftermath of Edelgard's downfall was so involving that she never gave it any thought.

She wasn't sure what the ring was when she bought it, as she was never good with labels, but it was important. It meant something. Before they finally marched into enemy territory to end the war, Annette bought that ring from Anna, and gave it to Mercedes the day they were supposed to leave. She gave it to her as a token of her adoration for the girl, and as a promise, that if they survived all of what they were about to encounter, and were to make it back home, they would get married. She didn't know if this meant it was more of a promise ring or an engagement ring, but didn't really care because it was the sentiment that counted. She remembered the tears involved with her giving Mercie the ring, and the impassioned, wild sex that they had following the gift, not just out of gratitude, but because they didn't know if they had the chance to do it again. Once Mercedes had left once the war was over, it didn't matter what it was, because they were apart. She hadn't even thought about it once.

She held it tight in her fist, smiling slightly as she recalled how excited she was when she bought it.

"Thank you, Mercie,"

She nodded.

"You're welcome, Annie. Please, take that and give it to someone. That ring deserves to be worn," she said with the utmost sincerity.

She placed the ring carefully in her pocket, knowing she would do just that.

"Annie?" Mercedes asked.

Annette has briefly stared off into the distance as she put the ring in her pocket, as she contemplated the chance of one day maybe giving that ring to a certain girl with purple hair.

"Yes?" She said snapping out of it.

Mercedes looked a bit different now, wearing a more contemplative expression. She opened her mouth to say something, but let that intention die.

"Never mind. But, if you would allow it, perhaps we could catch up on a friendlier note now that all of that is out of the way. We deserve to have more amicable conservations that are far less likely to make us so weepy and melancholic,"

Annette laughed. That much was true, and finally, she could completely agree with that sentiment. The past would still hurt, and likely would continue to do so, but the future? That didn't have to. And in that spirit, the two girls did have a lovely afternoon together.

While she did love spending time with Mercedes now that they made amends, she couldn't lie to herself, she was very overjoyed that she could finally look forward to tonight, because once the anxiety faded, Bernadetta found her way into a great many of Annette's thoughts.


End file.
